Ever So Grimm
by Starrilight-Hotaru
Summary: A collection of one shots based on the Grimm Fairy Tales. Chapter 3 The Retelling of Clever Hans: Inuyasha the Smart. "Long ago, in a village by the sea there lived a clever lad named Inuyasha. He had fallen in love with a maiden on the other side of the village named Kagome and the two were to be wed."
1. The Maiden

This is the first of a series of fairy tale based one-shots.

It is rated T for the overall theme.

Disclaimer: I claim to own nothing. Do with that information what you will.

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_The Maiden_

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Long ago, in a place and at a time forgotten thrice, there was a young maiden. She was fair and enchanting with sun kissed locks that fell to her knees and chocolate colored eyes that reflected like a cool spring on a hot summer's day. When she was quite young, her mother passed and it seemed as though the girl's voice had died with her. And her father was sad and distraught thinking he would never find his child a husband.

Now it so happened that while she was a young teen she came upon an injured youkai. She thought him at first to be an ethereal being. His silver hair locks glistened under the sun, perfect stripes adorned each of his high cheeks and a crescent moon was centered perfectly upon his brow. But she soon found his kind lived on the opposite side of a well hidden within the enchanted forest in the far west. And that he was a great lord over many people.

He was, of course, cold to her at first, though he was injured, and she was only attempting to assist him. But her ever silent warmth began to melt the ice around his heart and soon the pair fell madly in love. He was even able to coax her voice from her bringing a new level of happiness to their relationship.

One day the girl went unto her father and spoke happily to him of her youkai lord and their intent. The two wished to be wed and then the youkai lord would carry her into his own world to live out eternity together. But the girl's father did not wish it so and demanded that the girl wed the prince he had chosen for her.

When the girl refused her father became annoyed. When she attempted to flee to her lover he became infuriated. He called forth his men and had them build a tower off in the far plains while his daughter was forced to a cell were she wept for three days. The tower was a dark one, in which no true light could penetrate the walls, neither that of the sun nor the moon. And on the third day, without true rest on the part of his men, the structure was completed.

The father cloaked his daughter and her miko handmaiden in pixie dust, to hide their scents should her lover come looking and sent them forth into the dark tower. He sealed them inside with a promise to return in seven years after the young maiden was given time to think and allow her perverse spirit to be broken.

And when the great youkai lord did miss his maid so, he went out upon a journey to search for her. But he found no trail to follow and her father yielded him no answers. Yet he still searched high and low to no avail. He searched the human realm for a year unknowingly passing his lover's prison thrice before returning to his own world. His heart even colder than it was before.

Meanwhile the imprisoned duo sat and plotted not sure of the day, time, or year. They housed a fear of being reprimanded should they attempt to escape and the tower was being guarded. And they soon decided that perhaps the best option was to wait out the punishment. And so the two maids grew together bonding like siblings rather than a lady and her help.

It was one day when the pairs' hair danced across the ground and neither were still teens, that the oldest, the miko handmaiden, noticed that their supply of food and light was coming to an end. So she stood with her ear to the wall for three days and yet heard no hammer or chisel to save them. Upon the third day the young maiden, who was now a young lady in her own right, started to once again plot and scheme for she feared her father had forgotten her.

With nothing more than a forgotten nail and a butter knife the two worked at the wall until one by one bricks were removed and for the first time in near a decade they saw the sun. There were no guards surrounding the tower and there was no sign that they had had any visitors for quite some time. They packed no more than they could easily carry, a bit of food, a change of clothes and a bit of pixie dust they had gathered after dusting off their clothes when arriving so long ago.

Then they set out of the far plains towards the young maiden's land. But when they arrived they found her castle's once great walls burned to the ground and all land forward scorched and barren. But to the west still stood the great forest but it was a ways off.

And so they traveled that way. They found no shelter beyond the cloak of the heavens. And when they ran out of food they found none beyond the prickly leaves of the nettle bush. Yet they continued onwards until they came upon a deep well. And after pulling their hoods over their heads and dousing themselves in pixie dust they fell through into the mixed kingdom below.

Now not much time was needed for the pair to find work within the kitchen's at the castle of our young maiden's former lover as scullery maids. And though she had seen him, the maiden kept her face covered and did not speak to him, for she knew not the words that she should speak. And she feared that perhaps he had come to love another in her absence. And oh did she cry when she heard from another scullion that his soon to be bride had arrived and the pair would be wedded before the new moon.

She ran into the arms of her miko and wept. And the miko sighed and patted her almost sibling upon the head and calmed her. And then she wished they would get back to work for they had god on their side and perhaps things would work out well, for since the bride had arrived she had refused to come out of her room.

And so it came to pass that the young maiden was forced to take the bride her meals and upon one such trip she learned an ugly secret. The bride was heavy with child and did not wish for her bridegroom to catch the smell so she hid from him, covered in pixie dust. But she knew she would soon be found out for her wedding day drew near.

But since her secret was known to the young maiden she threatened her and beat her saying, "Do not speak this truth to anyone lest your head roll across the floor." And so the maiden said nothing, and continued to cover her face when she saw her lover though she yearned to tell him the truth. And then every night she cried to her miko to be comforted until she fell asleep.

Upon the day of the wedding the young maiden cried into her miko's arms before taking the bride her breakfast. She was met with a shock when she was told to close the door. "Come nearer girl it shall be your honor to take my place at the altar."

But the young maiden refused even when she was offered gold and jewels. She only relented when she was told once again that she would have no head betwixt her shoulders should she not complete the task. And so she was doused in a healthy dose of pixie dust so their trick would not be found out, and then she was dressed as the bride.

She walked towards her lover with tears in her eyes, and though she was veiled when she passed into the courtyard, her miko handmaiden saw her stature and knew it was her. And her miko handmaiden prayed to god that he would hold her and keep her safe for that is all she could do.

The pair made their way to the temple down the streets filled with onlookers. Her lover walked in step with her, frigid as the day he first saw him. They came upon a tower left in disarray and the young maiden mused under her breath, "Mayhap dear tower, do you mock me? Your shadow unbound and free. In your darkened brother I sat and plead. And no ally came to me."

"What are you babbling about?" The lord asked intrigued though still cold.

"Nothing at all that I know of, other than a tale of a girl locked away in a tower some seven years ago…" The young maiden said softy as they continued on.

Through the town they were paraded until they came to a beaten path. For some time it was lined with nettle bushes and the maiden once again spoke under her breath, "Mayhap dear nettles, do you mock me? For here you grow so low and free. Even when hunger over took me. You stung my tongue when I cried. 'But I must eat.'"

"What are you babbling about?" The lord asked again, this time coming to a halt.

The young maiden stopped as well and gave a humble curtsey. "Nothing at all that I know of, other than a tale of a girl locked away in a tower some seven years ago, awaiting a lover that could not find her…"

His eyes became very distant. "Perhaps you know this maiden…"

"I am sorry sir; I only know that which I have heard. How should I know the girl who was once locked so far away?" The maiden replied softly before offering her hand to the lord once more. He took her hand a bit more gently before they continued on to the temple.

Finally the pair came upon the temple where they were to be wedded. It sat under a willow tree whose wispy leaves whistled in the summer's breeze. The maiden looked up to it and bit back her tears and whispered, "Mayhap dear willow tree, do you mock me? For you stand so majestic, so lovely, so free. A reminder of a time when he first kissed me. So long ago a fading memory."

"Why do you speak in such riddles under your breath? And why do you cry?" He asked stopping her again this time out of the sight of those waiting for them at the temple.

"It is all for the girl locked away in a tower for some seven years awaiting a lover that could not find her, or so she was lead to believe…" The maiden muttered thankful that the veil covered teary eyes so well.

"Perhaps a gift will ease your mind." He replied before pulling back her veil and looking at her lovely face.

For a moment time stopped; and she watched as he mouthed her true name. But the circumstances were quite impossible and she could see the hope being doused in his eyes. He was not one to believe in miracles anymore. But he gave her a slight smirk before adorning her neck with a silver chain that glistened like moonbeams. He quickly wiped the tears from her eyes before giving her a mischievous glance.

"Dear lady I shall ask a favor of you. Do not speak to our wedding sheets as you do all other things in the world. For their answers might be a bit uncouth especially at night's end." He said with a light chuckle before pulling the maiden's veil back down over her now bright red face.

And so the two made it to the temple and were wedded before god. And when they returned to the castle he bid her farewell until that night and she rushed back to the bride's quarters. As she began to disrobe she found the bride beckoning her near. "Do not think your task is over." She said through labored breaths. "This cursed child shall be here within a day or so and you shall lay with my husband until I am rid of it."

The maiden refused adamantly, and would not waiver for gold or jewels. She only relented when she was told neither she nor her miko handmaiden would have a head betwixt their shoulders should she not complete the task. And so the maiden when unto her lord and lie with him. But he did not consummate the marriage that night for the bride had planned for this and drugged his nighttime draught with red poppy, mugwort and pixie dust. And he fell into a deep slumber. And when the maiden discovered this and realized that even then she would not be able to tell him the truth she cried softly.

Oh silly silly me,

To think one so powerful as thee,

Would remember that it twas me,

Who found you neath the willow tree.

And when the sun rose up she left him and went to the bride's quarters. The bride's bastard had crowned over night and before midday he was born. And the bride demanded that the maiden smother his voice and toss him into the sea. And the maiden cried softly for his fate. And her heart broke so at the thought of harming the small babe that she did scheme and plan. And instead, the maiden took him unto her miko handmaiden who hid him deep within their quarters and rocked him so he would not cry.

The bride wished for a night to recover and sent the maiden unto her lord again. And she lie with him again as he slept, drugged by his nighttime draught, and cried.

Oh silly silly me,

To think one so beautiful as thee,

Would remember that it twas me,

Who was locked away for loving thee.

And when the sun rose up she escaped again into the bride's quarters. But she was unaware that the lord had heard her crying in his sleep and had questions for her. Nonetheless, the bride felt ready to take the lord's bed and dismissed the maiden and sent her back to the life of a scullery maid. And when the night came the bride went unto the lord, and she covered her face for she feared he might not know her. She sat upon his bed and tried to lay with him but he began to ask her questions.

"Those things we saw on the way to the temple, why did you speak to them?" He asked.

"Things, what things?" She asked trying to lure him into bed with a light tug at his nightwear. But he would not have it.

"How is it that you are my bride if you do not remember such things?" He asked curiously already aware that something was quite amiss. For you see, the bride had not covered the maiden in pixie dust when she had sent her unto the lord the two nights prior and he knew the scents were different, for he was a youkai and such knowledge was in his nature.

"Oh my lord bear with me for a moment, my maid keeps my thoughts for me; perhaps I shall inquire of her." And with that the bride left and found the maiden. "You fool what did you speak to on the way to the temple and why?"

"I spoke only to the tower, the nettles and the willow tree for they seemed to mock my plight." She answered honestly.

"I should beat you this night but I haven't the time. A curse upon you." She spat before rushing back to the lord and telling him what he wished to know.

"Oh well then, what did you sing to me these past two nights that I have been quite unable to move once I have reached my bed?" He asked getting closer to her and scenting the smell of afterbirth.

"I do not sing to sleeping lords, I let them lie." The bride replied with a laugh before realizing her err.

"Then how is it that you have lain by my side for two nights if you know not what you had sung?" He asked amused with the way the color drained from her hands, for he still couldn't see her face.

"Oh my lord bear with me for a moment, my maid keeps my thoughts for me; perhaps I shall inquire of her." And out she rushed to the maiden and slapped her cheek. "You whelp what words did you sing to my lord while he lay in a deep slumber?" And the maiden did tell her. "I would beat you but I haven't the time. A curse upon you and your allies." She screeched as she rushed back down the hall.

And she did tell the lord what he wished to hear. And he nodded at her recital. But he grew bored of this game and asked her next, "Where is the token I gave you when I pulled you aside before we arrived at the temple and witnessed that innocent blush upon your cheeks?"

"A token? I have no token." The bride replied.

The lord stood up and went to her. "I bore of this; it is obvious you are not my true bride." And he tore the veil from her face and looked upon her. "You who have just bore a child, tell me where is my true bride."

"I am she, but I had my handmaiden come to you in my place so that you wouldn't know I was with child. But the child was born and is gone and now we shall be together." She said grabbing at his hand.

He pushed her away as if she had burnt him and said angrily. "Bring me your handmaiden and pray you are not punished for harming an innocent child."

And he was in such a rage that the bride fled the room and ran straight to the guards. And she called the maiden an imposter and a murderer, and told them to behead her. And so the guards went unto the maiden and pulled her from her room.

And the miko heard this and went with the bastard babe to save her. And upon seeing that the child still lived the bride flew into a fury and attempted to stab the miko and the child. But the miko thwarted her and threw her to the ground. This in turn made the guards turn on the miko as well. And they made such a commotion that the lord himself heard it and came to the scene.

When he saw his maiden's fearful face and the necklace that adorned her neck he bellowed, "Let go of her she is my bride!" He looked to the miko with the babe and sneered at the guards who tried to hold her. And they let the pair go. "Look here, she is the imposter and murderer. She meant to send this child to his death!" He bellowed pointing at the false bride who had begun to cry.

"My lord what shall we do with her?" The guards asked.

"She shall lose her head as she wished upon my true bride. Be off with her let me never rest my eyes upon her again. And let it be known that if she would have been honest, I would have accepted her and her seed." He said with a shake of his head as they carried off the wailing false bride.

"Hello my lord…" The maiden said meekly as the miko pushed her forward. Her chocolate orbs shimmered in happiness and relief that he had discovered the plot afoot and foiled it.

He walked up to the maiden and smiled. "I fear that such a dramatic night has left me with a strange wish. And I do apologize if I am wrong, but I remember your face, your smell, your touch. And I fear that I might remember you."

"Then perhaps you should call her name my lord?" The miko said bravely grinning from ear to ear.

"Of course, may I have a kiss my darling wife Rin?" He said softly as he pulled her into his arms.

"But of course my loving husband Sesshomaru…" She replied and he passionately grabbed her lips before lifting her into his arms and taking her into his quarters. That night they consummated their marriage and continued to every night after. And they lived together raising the false bride's son as their own. And they lived happily ever after.

But what of the miko handmaiden you ask? Well that is a tale for another day…


	2. Riddle Me Not

This is the second of a series of fairy tale based one-shots.

It is rated T for the overall theme.

Disclaimer: I claim to own nothing. Do with that information what you will.

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_Riddle Me Not_

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A crescent moon hung lazily in the sky as Kagome's bare feet pounded against the murky ground and she tried to find her way in the dark forest. It had taken her a fortnight to use her own energy to reverse the spell that the witch of the glade had placed upon her, Sango and Rin. But she could only free herself and she wasn't quite sure how long it would last. She had taken one wary look at her friends, who now stood proudly as a pair of tulips, and fled into the forest to find help.

She somehow found her way to the edge of the village and immediately began her search for her lover. Fearful of waking anyone she whispered to the sky, praying that it would take her voice to his sensitive ears. "Inuyasha, where are you?" She called. Knowing that he would not be home since she had been absent without warning for so long. For a moment she feared maybe he wasn't there at all. Her eyes began to water; if she could not find him they were all doomed.

"Kagome…" She heard him whisper before she found herself in a loving embrace. "You silly wench where were you? Where are the others? We've been searching for over a week." He said softly holding her to him as though she would disappear again. And for all Kagome knew she would.

"There isn't much time… We came into a glade of flowers on our way back from the village and decided to rest there. But an enchantress called that place home and cursed us to live as flowers." Kagome recounted twisting her fingers into Inuyasha's silver hair as a panicked look held on to her features.

"What, you went through Willow's Glade? Anyone could have told you not to go through there, even Rin knows…" Inuyasha started before Kagome silenced him with a finger to his lips.

"Rin was basically sleepwalking behind us; we should have stayed the night in the village. But Sango wished to be home with her youngest that is still ill. And I knew there was a straight shot. I had no idea why Rin had taken us around before…" Kagome replied caressing his face.

"But you're here now, the curse is broken…" Inuyasha said holding her even closer.

"No it's not, I used my power to escape for tonight, but I don't even know how long this will last before I have to stand alongside Rin and Sango again… Please, go to the glade and pick me when I leave you… And maybe that will free us all." Kagome pushed her lips against his before she felt herself being pulled away by the glade's magic as sunbeams began to lick at the horizon.

"You idiot, how the hell am I supposed to know which flower you are?" Inuyasha asked feeling her slipping through his fingers, their time together almost spent.

Kagome eyes became wide. "I don't know we are identical in every way…" Her heart became downtrodden. Perhaps she should have told Sesshomaru; maybe she had doomed them all by seeking Inuyasha out because of her love for him. "I'm sorry, please Inuyasha figure something out…" She cried before she faded into nothingness and reappeared miles away alongside Rin and Sango.

And Inuyasha did travel to the glade and after much thought on his part and a failed attempt at 'ennie meanie minne mo', which he thankfully brushed off because he had chosen the wrong flower, he picked Kagome and she and her companions were returned. The question is how did the somewhat dimwitted hanyou do it without the aid of those who would most likely look down upon him?


	3. Inuyasha the Smart

This is the third of a series of fairy tale based one-shots.

It is rated T for the overall theme.

Disclaimer: I claim to own nothing. Do with that information what you will.

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**The answer to chapter two's riddle:** _Kagome had been free of the curse the entire night. She was the only flower not covered in dew. _

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_Inuyasha the Smart_

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Long ago, in a village by the sea there lived a clever lad named Inuyasha. He had fallen in love with a maiden on the other side of the village named Kagome and the two were to be wed. On his way to visit her one day his Auntie Kaede smiled and asked, "Where are you off to today?"

"I'm off to see my bride; perhaps she has something for me." Inuyasha said as he flicked his silvery hair over his shoulder and went about his way.

When he arrived to his bride's home he found the young Kagome smiling brightly at him. "Oh my dear Inuyasha, did you bring me a token?" She asked twirling around on her heel before running up to him and hugging him tightly.

"I did not; I thought maybe you had one for me…" The boy replied, raising his eyebrow at the young girl while scratching the back of his head.

"Oh… well I suppose you should have this then." The girl mused handing the boy a needle. "Perhaps I shall see you tomorrow, for soon we shall be wed."

"Of course you silly wench…" The boy replied before receiving a firm plucking from his bride to be. She stuck out her tongue at him and didn't watch as he left. Inuyasha followed a hay wagon back across the village, but he tired of holding on to the needle his beloved gave him. So he set the needle in the haystack and continued home.

When the boy found his way home his auntie asked how his visit went. And when he told her of it and the location of the token Kagome had given him she scolded him. "Silly boy, you should have placed the needle in your sleeve, not in a pile of hay."

"Oh, that makes sense; I suppose I shall do better next time." The boy replied before he settled into bed awaiting the new day. In the morning he once again set off to his bride's home. This time he came upon her cooking. She smiled up at him having seemingly forgotten about his poor choice in words from the day before. "Oh my dear sweet Inuyasha, did you bring me a token?"

"I did not; I thought maybe you had one for me…" The boy replied again. Kagome frowned a bit before shrugging her shoulders and handing him a knife.

"Oh… well I suppose you should have this then." The girl mused before concentrating on her food preparation once more. "Perhaps I shall see you tomorrow, for soon we shall be wed."

"Of course you silly wench…" The boy replied before receiving a firm tug on his dog like ears that sat upon his head. She once again stuck her tongue out at him and did not watch him as he left.

As Inuyasha made his way home he realized that the knife was quite sharp and he didn't want to keep it in his hands, so he stuck it in his sleeve. Happy with his problem solving skills, he arrived home just before sunset.

And when his auntie asked him of his trip he proudly showed her his token, stuck steadfast in the sleeve of his new shirt. "Silly boy, you should not have placed the knife in your sleeve, you should have placed it in your pocket." She scolded before sighing to herself.

"Oh, that makes sense; I suppose I shall do better next time." The boy replied before eating his ramen for dinner and then being sent off to bed.

The next day mirrored the others. But this time he found his bride in the back of house tending to her livestock. "Oh my dear Inuyasha, perhaps today you brought me a token?" She asked still hopeful.

But he once again replied, "I did not; I thought maybe you had one for me…"

The girl let out a light sigh but promised to not lose faith in her future groom, such an action would be ungodly. She pushed a young goat towards him before making her way inside. "I suppose you should have that then… And I'll see you in the morrow…" She called over her shoulder not even bothering to listen to his response.

"Of course you silly wench…" The boy muttered under his breath, quite happy that this time his bride couldn't hear him. He picked up the goat and started on his way home.

Half way through the journey he became tired of the goat's erratic movements and attempts of escape. So he stuffed the poor creature in his pocket. The animal did fight most of the way but became strangely still when Inuyasha approached his house. As he removed the animals head from his pocket he saw why. The creature had been smothered.

And his auntie was not pleased with him for wasting such a good animal. She chided him and pulled his ear while saying, "Silly boy, you should have led the goat home on a string, not stuff it into your pocket."

"Oh, that makes sense; I suppose I shall do better next time." The boy replied before sitting in the fields and musing on his week. Surely, he promised himself, he would do better next time.

The next day he once again made the trek to his bride's home. This time he picked some roses on the way. When he arrived Kagome stood in the kitchen readying some meat for dinner. She turned on her heel and smiled when she heard him enter. "Oh my dear Inuyasha, today you brought me a token?" She was expecting nothing but she received a handful of roses. And though their thorns cut at her palms, at least he had tried.

"I thought maybe you too had one for me…" He said after the girl had placed the flowers in a glass vase.

"Oh well, I suppose you should have this then…" Kagome said softly handing the boy a generous piece of meat. "I'll see you in the morrow, yes? Our wedding day draws near." She said with a smile.

"Oh course you silly wench…" The boy replied before his bride flicked his nose quite harshly and refused to watch him go.

He made his way back across the village dragging the meat on a piece of string as he went. But he found as he got home that dogs had come and eaten the meat from the string and he was most disappointed.

His auntie scolded him when he told her of his tale. "Silly boy, you should have carried the meat over your head, not led it here on a string." She watched as the boy walked to his room with his shoulders slumped. Perhaps the tale his mother had once told her about the boy being dropped on his head was true. But alas, at least he would soon be wedded.

The boy arose the next morning and made his way to his bride's homestead, once again grabbing a bunch of roses for her. Their normal banter persisted and this time she gifted him with a calf before kicking him in the bottom for declaring her a wench and refusing to watch him leave.

And so he carried the calf over his head, and it promptly kicked him in the eye. He dropped it and it ran far away. He sighed before making his way home, his face downtrodden. When he spoke to his auntie of his day she gave him a sigh. "Silly boy, you should have led it to the barn and tied it steadfast there." She patted him on the head and sent him to bed.

The next day Inuyasha once again made his way to Kagome's home. Through the village he dragged himself before seeing his bride's face. "Oh my dear Inuyasha, what is the matter?" She asked.

"Nothing, perhaps you have a token for me?" Inuyasha asked.

"No, I shall go with you home instead…" She said before wiping her hands on her apron and following her groom to his home. But he led her past his home and to the barn where he tied her steadfast to a post. She was quite enraged but he ignored her before heading to his house.

His auntie smiled at him but it slowly became grim as he recounted that day's tale. "Silly boy, you should cast loving eyes upon her, not tie her to a post! Release her at once!" His auntie scolded as she pushed him out the door.

Inuyasha made his way back to the barn, once there, he cut out the eyes of all the live stock and tossed them at his now terrified bride. He cut her binds and yelled, "You are released!" The girl looked at him as though he was mad before slapping him right across the face and fleeing, not once looking back.

And that is how Inuyasha lost his bride.


End file.
